Being A Parent Of A Child Diagnosed With Autism

“All children are special, some have special needs.”  For twenty-two plus years this has been my mantra. I am both a therapist and a mother of a child with special needs. Here are some of the most basic things I have learned over the past twenty-years:

A) Don’t ever put a cap on what you think your child will achieve. Each child on the spectrum may possess similar characteristics, but they are individuals that should not be grouped as a single population.

B) Only look at their development six months at a time. Don’t be discouraged if they own a skill and lose it, it usually comes back. The brain is a wonderous muscle we don’t know everything about.

C) Try to make he/she/they the lowest functioning in a group, not the highest.

D) Surround yourself with other special needs parents who have older children. They are the best resource to have in your back pocket.

E) Use your intuition when making choices/placements for your child. Ultimately, you know your child best.

F) Early intervention is very important and should be a priority. Getting the skill set needed to increase any deficits is easier at a younger age. 

G) Know there will never be a perfect school or camp. You will need to accept that fact and compromise along the journey. 

H) Always have an alternate action plan ready: if this school, camp, therapy does not have what we need, we will pivot to _____.  Don’t make decisions under extreme stress. 

I) Surround yourself with a team of experts for you as well as your child.

Raising children is an uphill climb with or without special needs. Those with special needs will require extra patience, research and time. Make sure you prepare yourself emotionally and physically for the needs they will have. Make sure you mark every milestone achieved as a deposit in your emotional savings account. When things get rough, and they will, you will be able to withdraw from this account and push forward.

Shana Schwartz MSS LCSW