How to Get Your Child to Open Up to You

Is there a wall preventing more communication between you and your child? Not a physical one of course, but a symbolic one. Certain events such as a divorce or bullying can cause a child to not open up about their feelings with their parents. The following are a few tips and tricks that can be used to get your child to open up to you more.

Willingness

If you want your kid to open up to you more you must first show that you’re willing to listen to them. You can show this by acknowledging their presence when they come into the room—using their name to acknowledge their presence.

Detailed questions

Instead of asking your child the proverbial “ How was school today?” ask a more detailed question such as, “What was the best part of school today?” This will result in your child’s response going from a simple  “good” to a more detailed response of “the best part of school today was….” 

No solutions or advice

When your child is talking, it’s important just to listen. Prematurely delivering an opinion or advice will prevent your child from feeling heard and reduce the chance for them to problem solve. The long-term effects may result in your child possibly suffering from a lack of confidence. It is important to give your child the opportunity to vent without fear of being interrupted.  

Consistency

Even after showing a willingness to listen by asking detailed questions and not providing any solutions or advice, the key to long-term success is to do it consistently. By doing so, you will build a rapport with your child that will give them multiple opportunities to open up to you. Patience is a virtue as your child will open up to you when they’re ready, which might take some time.  

EJ Umoh, Intern for Main Line Family Matters